Editing Sir Gawain

The first draft of Sir Gawain is nearly done. (Index here) Or perhaps "first draft" is a misnomer. Yes, I'm working to fill in the last gaps -- as predicted they are the lady's speeches for the Castle Anthrax bit. But I'm also working to smooth clunky transitions, and in general take out the dull bits. Today I took three stanzas and reduced them to one

A man in white to match the lady
Towered there above the bed
"Welcome, my young weary traveler,
and Merry Christmas, sleepyhead"


What a miss-match, lord and lady
He was flushed as she was pale
Red curls crowned him like a fire
Her white hair seemed an icy veil.

He went booming where she murmured
He was huge as she was slight
Like the sun and moon they stood there
As different as day from night.

became

A giant man stood in the doorway
A flame to match the lady's ice
His hair was wild as a bonfire
His grin was like a cat with mice

Which makes me happy. On the other hand, I took out one of my favourite stanzas

Sir, the world is full of wonders
More than I had ever known
Though I am nephew to a hero
Who sits upon a marvelous throne

in favour of one that moves the plot along a little better. I mourn it and may yet put it back.

And I decided to get rid of end punctuation except question marks, exclamation points, and the occasional dash, and to start each line with an initial cap, and to use italics to indicate speech. I know I've made the opposite decision in the past, but after fixing 800 lines, I think maybe I'll stick with this.