Suffrage to Salt
Oh white lady, oh pillar
of longing, let me not
look backward. Work's wages,
let me earn nothing.
Ruiner of fields, let me leave
all things bitter. Ice breaker,
break my heart. Devil's blindess,
blind me.
Oh starfish, oh
lace of loss across the drying rocks,
I am in the shrinking tidepool, circling.
Lady of the Tides, take me.
I have measured my grievances
into small bowls. They are at
my elbow. I have heated
the oil. Queen of Spices,
Burner, burn me.
Oh salt, dissolve me, let the water
pull me apart, let the current
start, let the light arc
through me. Let me be battery.
Let me be wealth. Let me
be necessary.
_______
I wrote this poem after trying to revise this poem, and deciding I was on the wrong track.
Compare "Suffrage to Water," and the other devotionals.
3 Comments
I really like it. Reminded me immediately of Suffrage to Water. It’s not a modern form, but then, neither is the Gawayne poem. Keep up with the great work, the big experiments. btw, have you written devotionals to fire or earth or wind(air) yet?
There’s an old Mary Tyler Moore episode where Ted Baxter, having had a near-death experience, starts getting in touch with his feelings, much to everyone’s annoyance. At the peak of this, he asks Lou Grant “Did you ever just look at salt up close?”
This is even more profound than that (and better than your first draft, even).
Hi Erin
I’m happy to discover your notebook. If you mind that I’ve intruded here, please don’t hesitate to let me know.
I was particularly taken by the energy in this poem. Descriptive and alluding to the love/hate relationship between man & (necessary evil). However I feel that the final stanza, whether a case of tone, or frequency of “me”, or some reason more mysterious, doesn’t quite succeed(then again what do I know). I hope you don’t take offence to what I’ve done to the second last stanza. I’ve likely not got it either. I thought it may be an avenue you’d perhaps look down.
I have measured my grievances into small bowls at my elbow. Oh Queen of Spice burn me. I have heated the oil.