winter haiku
I know, it's August, but --
as part of the slow resurfacing of my literary self, I've been putting together batchs of poetry submissions. This is one of several little collections of 'ku that I may cast out on the literary waters. Most of them have appeared here on Vivid before, but I had such fun arranging them and so liked the way they sat together that I thought they were worth re-posting. Besides, a couple of the weaker ones (the oranges one, e.g.) seem to have been magically healed.
Wish that would happen to me. The healing is damn hard work. But hey, I'm only about 300 e-mails and 6 important phone calls backlogged.
You may actually hear from me soon.
Without further ado, winter haiku.
war memorial:
sparrows
in the soldier's hair
church bells
ring the changes —
evening snow
winter sun —
white flash
on the back of the crow
thicker even than blossom —
snow in stillness
a perfect wren's nest
round with snow
sleet, but
three oranges
in a delft-work bowl
below zero —
a stray tom
gets friendly
melting snow uncovers
a clump of feathers
bird tracks in the snow
fill with snow
4 Comments
I especially like the one with the crow and the white flash. well observed.
Erin, these are lovely! And the oranges one may, in fact, be one of my favorites. Something about the juxtaposition of the words “sleet” and “but” in the first line, falling into the more curvaceous roundness of the word “oranges” in the second, and how the words “delft-work” are sonically intricate, conveying the intricate patterning of the bowl … and of course, the splash of colors. Marvelous.
The original “three oranges” was not so good, though: http://www.vividpieces.net/2005/01/06-epiphany_h.shtml
I’m aware that revising haiku is a terrible haiku sin, but I can’t help doing it when sometimes they can be saved like this.
Hi Erin,
I’m looking forward to receiving your books. The latest email from me would be amongst the 300 you’ve got. ;)
Cheers, Ivy